So news came out that our glorious President Trump was spied on by the worst ex-president ever, and right before his righteous victory over Crooked Hillary. Some non-believers would call this far-fetched and want “evidence” or “proof” that this even happened. Pshaw. You know what? We are all being spied on.

There was recently a huge dump from Wikileaks exposing the TRUTH that the NSA is spying on every aspect of our lives. They spy on us through our TVs and through our phones and through our computers and tablets and watches and glasses. But it’s even worse than I say.

Every school, every building, every inch of land is in league with the NSA, watching our every move, recording every instance of our lives. From the moments at which we feel like we are on top of the world to the times we are at our most vulnerable. Yes, there are cameras in the bathrooms, too.

There isn’t a single thing the NSA doesn’t know about every single person living in the US — no, living on EARTH. They know exactly how many hairs are on every person’s head by going through multiple recordings for each person. This goes deeper than anyone could ever know.

So does it really seem so far-fetched anymore that our former president would spy on our current president?
But now Trump has his ginormous hands on the NSA to make sure the footage doesn’t get into the wrong ones. He will also personally go through every bedroom tape to make sure no terrorists get in there.

So don’t worry, Trump is watching over us all; we can all dance like it’s 1984! Woohoo!

(You didn’t have to off Buttercup! How could you! I did it again. Can you let me go now? Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee….. #SaveIlona)

-Ilona Kinnear