The Tea with Rose: Compare, Compete, Repeat

Why women need to stop fighting and come together

Rose Emmons, Staff Writer


 “Women have always been seen as part of the problem; so why are they creating that same problem for each other?”

Increasing numbers of women are treating each other the way men have been known to demean women for centuries. Which begs the question: How much of a role are females playing in this type of injustice?

In early October, 17-year-old high school student Grace Brumfield was bullied by both her peers and older women on social media for a homecoming outfit she had worn due to being allegedly provocative.

It consisted of a little black dress inspired by Princess Diana, and though it was slightly shorter than Lady Di’s original, it certainly didn’t suggest that Brumfield wanted to be a rape victim.

And it doesn’t end there. Women must prepare for a myriad of obstacles: Being judged for the clothes they choose to wear; getting body-shamed for not having the ideal figure but slut-shamed for expressing their sexuality; being abused, assaulted and objectified.

Yes, I’m calling out all females for not offering the support necessary to rise above these challenges, but instead promoting condescension.


Let’s be real: Female rivalry has been around since sexism has been a thing. From the beginning of time, women have experienced endless torment — and still do to this day.

Women have always been seen as part of the problem; so why are they creating that same problem for each other?

Constant comparison leads to self-doubt and insecurity. For centuries, females have been conditioned just as a dog is conditioned to obey its master. It’s time to stop being “that bitch” — or as Cardi B once said, ‘Don’t be a ‘Why her and not me?’ type of bitch, be a ‘How can I get next to that bitch?’ type of bitch.”

There are even names for this phenomenon, like the “power dead-even” rule which means exactly what it sounds like: In order for women to have a successful friendship with the same sex, their power and self-esteem must be equivalent to each other so that neither one of them can succeed in achievements over the next.


Women are constantly feuding, and I’m not talking about Steve Harvey’s “Family Feud.”

The dynamic among females is more akin to “The Hunger Games” — all competing for that one seat at the table, that well-paying job or that guy that seemed nice at the bar, with one common goal: to impress men.

But it’s science, right? Clearly evolution is to blame. Aren’t all women just competing for that primal mate?

During wartime when men became scarce in daily life, conditions were competitive because women had never before been breadwinners. But how does that translate today? Of course there are still wars, but the U.S. is no longer experiencing a shortage of males — in fact, the country is nearly equally populated.


Since the beginning of time, women have fought to “get in where they fit in” when in reality they should be embracing their uniqueness and take pride in being a woman.

Going forward, women must break the mold of expectations and be free. They must accept themselves for their beauty and flaws. While they don’t have to love each other, they should respect each other. It has remained a patriarchal, male-dominant world for far too long and that won’t change until females stop tearing each other down.

It’s time to end women-versus-woman oppression.