News Briefs – Vol 53 Issue 15, June 15, 2018

Prep Day

June 15

See, this is when all that studying you’ve been doing all year pays off. Now you get to just sit back and mock all your friends who have to spend the day cramming for finals.

Finals

June 18-20

You’re gonna do great, really. And even if you don’t, I’m still proud of you for doing your best. Whether or not that matters is sorta up to you, I guess.

Financial Aid Workshop

2:30-4 p.m., June 18, Room 5101

Now that you’ve taken the smackdown to your first round of finals, you should make sure you can actually pay for that impending Ivy League transfer education.

Campus Garden Volunteer Drop-In

1-2 p.m., June 20, Greenhouse

Take that good finals karma to the garden and spread the love like metaphorical mulch. Or, if need be, bury your shame. It’s the secret ingredient behind my garden at home.

Workforce Info Session

2-4 p.m., June 20 & 27, Room 5101

Learn if you qualify for workforce funding. Anything to lower that tuition bill, amirite?

Commencement

6-8 p.m., June 21, Main Gym

I’ll see you there! And then I’ll never see you again. Just kidding, I’m everywhere.

Grades Available

June 27

I’m sure you don’t even care about this date. I mean, it’s not like there’s any doubt, right? Okay, even I know that’s ridiculous. But try to hold off for a little bit, so we don’t all crash the server at 12:01 a.m.

Summer Quarter Begins

July 2

Put your summer to good use. Replace that unfortunate English grade or crank out a lab science while you have nothing else on your plate.

Independence Day

July 4

Campus is closed, so just for a day, you can pretend you took the summer off, like a normal person.

Last Day for Full Refund/Class Add Deadline

July 6

Drop a class, add a class, whatever you want, it won’t cost you a thing. Well, not more than it usually would.

W Grade & Add/Drop Fee Begin

July 12

If you thought losing 50 percent of your tuition was bad for dropping a class, now you lose another $15 on top of that. So don’t delay, drop your classes now. Or, alternatively, just don’t drop them at all. Especially since you’ll get the dreaded “W”.

Grad App Due Date

July 13

Don’t wanna miss this one, believe you me. You’re gonna look pretty silly in that cap and gown when they don’t let you in the gym.

Last Day for 50 Percent Refund

July 16

Well at this point, you’ve already paid for the classes, so why not see it through? You’ve got nothing to lose. Well, except your GPA, I guess.

Last Day for W Grade

Aug. 2

Now you have nothing left to lose. But what am I saying, by this point, you’re so far ahead on your homework that you can kick back just as hard as if you dropped the class anyway.

Last Day of Instruction/Finals

Aug. 23

Man-o-man, summer quarter is efficient as hell. Just get it all out of the way at once.

Grades Available

Aug. 29

Aaaaaaand here we are again. Time sure flies when it’s just words on a page instead of, you know, actual time.

Labor Day

Sept. 3

Honor the grand tradition of American can-do-ism by taking a well-earned break. Everyone knows our Septembers are better than our Mays, so take advantage.

Fall Quarter Begins

Sept. 28

We’re back, baby! Well, you are. I’ll be far, far away. Like seven miles away. I miss you guys already.

New Ebbtide

Oct. 12

The long, cold night is over. It’s time for a new year of Ebbtides. Make a New Year’s resolution, throw a party and go easy on the new kids. They’ll get their feet under them soon enough.


By Connor Tee,
Editor in Chief

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